What I'm Thinking About Today - Health

I started a healthy eating challenge that I talked about earlier this week on the blog. In doing so my primary goal is to lose weight and feel healthy. The problem is that I sometimes make myself feel bad about the fact that I'm not seeing faster weight loss.

This is not cool and I have to remind myself that I've embarked on a lifelong journey of eating healthy and taking care of myself and it's not just about the vanity of losing weight. I try not to get seduced by the media and social messages of skinny is better. I just want to be my best self everyday and if that includes some fat on my body, so be it.

So here are some reminders that help me, and will hopefully help you as well, when I'm feeling discouraged in my health journey:

Fat doesn't automatically equal bad:

I'm on a journey to be healthier and it's an unfair assumption to think that anyone who has fat on their body is somehow out of shape or lazy. I know a lot of fit, athletic and in great shape people who have fat on their bodies. There is nothing wrong with fat; it's a natural part of all bodies.

It's about more than the image in the mirror:

I'm building a strong and healthy body and that's a good thing no matter what it looks like. I'm eating food that will lead to better digestion, skin and a boosted immune system and these are all great things.  My body is beautiful and wonderful just the way it is, even with fat, just like all bodies. Who I am is not my body.

Take stock of how far I've come so far:

There are measurable changes like the fact that I've lost 10 lbs and a full dress size as well as the non-quantifiable changes like how great I feel now compared to when I started. I've gotten stronger, I'm in better shape and my digestion has normalized; all things that help in many different areas of my life. Another huge benefit is that I'm happier than ever before and it feels good to have a goal to work towards.

Self-love and acceptance is much more powerful than criticism:

I've never had success in making life changes by being highly critical of myself and berating myself with negative self-talk. On the contrary, when I finally accepted my life and body just as it was and decided to love myself for the imperfect person that I am, is when I finally changed. I started making healthy life changes as an act of self-love because I now know that I deserve it, no matter what my current circumstances.

Reminder to be thankful:

As human beings we have a natural tendency to focus on the negative and this can lead to some negative views on ourselves and our lives. I must remind myself that I already have so much to be thankful for. I'm thankful that I have the ability and access to a gym and food on the regular basis. These may seem like basics but they are huge privileges that a large proportion of the world does not have. I'm thankful everyday that I'm alive, healthy and free. What else could one ask for?

I'm enjoying the journey of eating well, working out, loving my life, doing what I love and spreading my message. I can't wait to see what life has in store for me in the future but life is real only happening right now and that is the part that I'm enjoying right now in this very moment. Life is grand. What is one small thing you can be thankful for right now?

Remember you are uncommonly beautiful no matter what the scale or media or society says. Spread the love and share your unique and truly wonderful self with the world.

As always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! <3 :)

The Resolution to End All Resolutions

Welcome back to my blog! This week I want to talk about a personal New Years resolution that I made to myself but I haven't shared on this blog...yet. As you may have guessed, that's exactly what I intend to write about in this here blog post. So, buckle your seat belts and get ready for a mundane and possibly coma-inducing ride! Yippee, here we go! :)

Resolution number one for me was to be more assertive. What I mean by that is the fact that I have a tendency to let people push me around a little too much because I want to seem 'nice' and I want to make sure everyone is happy. This comes from a deep-seated fear that I will one day turn into my mother. I have always thought that being overly 'nice', easy-going and worrying about other peoples happiness is a way to fight turning into the crazy bitch that I know I have inside of me. I've been raised by society to be 'nice', because I'm female and no one will love me and/or marry me unless I'm a nice girl (ugh). So this has been drilled into my head since a young age by family members and pop culture alike as well as the fact that being 'selfish' is the worst thing in the world. What I'm realizing as I get older is that trying to make everyone else happy is an exhausting and futile endeavour that leads to my own unhappiness and ironically turns me into a crazy bitch. What I've noticed from examining previous friendships and relationships is a pattern that goes something like this: I put on a show at the beginning so that people will like me; I'm easy-going and let people get away with whatever they want (hence setting up our relationship to one another early on), then as we start to get closer I feel more comfortable being myself and then all of a sudden my needs aren't being met and it starts to get to me and I get angry/upset and in some instances I have a temper tantrum (the crazy bitch emerges) and enough of these instances happen to lead to the eventual alienation of my friend/boyfriend. This is a pattern I want to stop right now. So my solution is to start accepting and loving myself for the crazy bitch that I am. I'm going to become friends with the bitch inside me and become more assertive in all my relationships about my needs and wants and whether they are being met (or not) through constructive communication.

As an example, I used to live with my parents and my mother is a bit of a control freak and she tries her best to control what I do with my time and my life. This was easier for her when I lived there but now that I no longer live with her I'm noticing that I have a few other 'mother-hen' types in my life who also like to control my time. In the past I would become highly resentful of this fact and just stew and possibly vent to other people but with this resolution I'm determined to talk things out and put my foot down concerning my life and my time. I don't want to just replace my mother with another controlling person (which I've done in the past). No, I want my life and my time to be my own. I've been wondering lately what is it about me that attracts these type of people to me; the people who feel like I'm the type of person who is easily controlled and needs other people to lead me around by the nose? I'm an easy-going person about certain things but other things I'm very rigid. I think it has to do with the fact that I'm a social person and I love being around other people and I enjoy spending time with the people I care about. In this vein I end up putting myself and my life as secondary to other people because I want those people as part of my life and too often I have put my life on hold for the sake of socializing. Socializing has always been a top priority for me over many other important endeavours to the point where school, work and even important relationships have suffered in the past. I have a fear that if I put myself and my own endeavors as top priorities over socializing that I'll have no friends. It may seem childish but it's part of a greater fear of being alone and/or that I'm not good enough and/or unlovable that I believe everyone struggles with their whole life.

Now that I've unpacked the past and the possible reasons, what is the solution? The solution as I've devised is to make myself and my happiness a priority. As counterintuitive as this sounds, being more 'selfish' and more assertive and taking care of myself first will lead to a greater ability to share myself with others and take care them when needed. This will make me a better partner, friend, sister, aunt and daughter. Instead of hurting myself to make everyone else happy I'll take care of myself and the people who really care about me will be happy that I'm happy. This is a poignant topic for me right now because I've come up against a few important people in my life who it seems like are trying to fight me for control of my life, yes you heard that right: MY life. I think this stems from an inability on their own part to value themselves, their time and take control of their own lives that ultimately makes them unhappy. I believe these people feel powerless and out of control in their own lives and therefore react negatively to other people gaining control of their lives and that leads to attempts to sabotage the person who is getting their shit together and taking care of themselves. I need to start working a bit harder to guard myself from these kinds of negative influences in my life and if that means I need to start minimizing my time spent with them then unfortunately that is what I will have to do. I hope I can be an inspiration for these people to get control of their own lives and start making their own happiness a priority the way I intend to do. I really do wish this for these people, even though some may seem too far gone, I will still hold out hope until the very end.

In examining all my New Years resolutions for 2014 I realize that none of them are achievable without this very important first resolution. In looking at my past 'failures/mistakes' concerning resolutions and trying to take care of myself and make a better life it can all be boiled down to my inability to be assertive and make myself a priority. I think an important part of self-love and self-betterment is to make ME the number one priority in my life because I am enough and I am worthy of love and the best way to show the world this fact is to truly believe it and live it everyday. It won't always be easy but I've discovered a few fun techniques to help me in this endeavor; such as journaling and instagraming. In specific: I've started a 365 grateful campaign on instagram in which I post something I'm grateful for everyday on instagram in order to start loving the life I have and a way to increase my happiness now. I'm also going to start a journal in which I write 3 things I value in myself or 3 ways I've added value to the world everyday. I hope to inspire some of you reading this blog to maybe do the same or something similar. In what ways are you being more assertive in your life and taking back your power and living your life your way? As always, here's to YOUR uncommonly wealthy, healthy and happy life! :)

November Resolutions

It is now November and with it comes the winter weather. As much as I love the snow and winter sports, I do not; however, look forward to the cold weather and I would prefer to hibernate throughout winter or else live somewhere warmer. November also signals that we're nearing the end of the year with only 2 months left in the year! Wow, that doesn't seem like a lot but it is more than enough time to start some new things and ingrain some new habits and patterns into my life. So instead of waiting until January and the beginning of a new year to make some resolutions, I've decided to make some November resolutions and start working on them now so that come the new year I have some new habits and patterns already ingrained so that it becomes much easier to continue in 2014.

 

First of all, the most important change I want to make to my life is to become a more positive person. I'm not talking about the kind that leads to denial and helplessness, I'm talking about the kind that doesn't allow the external world to dictate my internal state. I'm talking about decreasing my own suffering by taking responsibility for my life. This includes decreasing complaining, excuse making and blaming the external world for my troubles. Instead I want to work on always looking for a silver lining in every situation. This may seem like a somewhat simple task, however it is not; it will take much practice and patience to unlearn old habits and patterns of thinking and seeing the world and learn a completely new way.

We are socialized to be negative and realistic but it is not our nature, just think of children: they are the most positive, wide-eyed optimists I have ever met! Then we teach them that it's not realistic and life is hard and blah, blah, blah. All those limiting and false beliefs that keep us supposedly safe and in our comfort zones. For example, back in the summer I was experiencing a bunch of external circumstances that at the time I thought were making me happy, but even when I had these things in my life and especially when they were gone I found out that I wasn't truly happy internally. I'm realizing that in order to live a happy and fulfilled life I need to be happy with myself in the here and now regardless of my external circumstances. Sometimes this is hard to do, especially when going through particularly difficult times or situations.

Next I need to start being accountable to myself about where my time and energy goes. In the past I have just gone with my whimsy and let others take control of my time. In that sense I let friendships and relationships and family members control my time and energy and let them create distractions for me. Then I would get sad and depressed that I felt like my life wasn't my own and I would never get done the things I actually wanted to do and wanted to put my time and energy towards. The solution to this, I have realized, is to tightly schedule and regulate my time and fiercely protect this schedule from outside intrusion. This is going to be a hard one for me but I have taken a cue from S.A. Wilson and her unwavering dedication to her craft and you can too.

Another important part of my journey for the end of this year is to let go of my attachment to expectations and outcomes. For example, I seem to always be planning 10 steps in the future and thinking about what will become of me if this and that happens or doesn't happen instead of enjoying the present moment. In this sense I seem to sabotage potentially good things by getting angry, upset and frustrated when situations, things and people don't live up to my expectations. I intend to focus on enjoying the present while planning for the future and letting go of the outcome. This means doing what I can to plan and schedule my life and do things that will get me to the life I want and deserve but at the same time enjoy where I am now and enjoy the process and the journey and also have faith in the universe and the fact that everything is happening FOR me and exactly how it is supposed to.

Wow, that's a lot to tackle and I know it will take a lot of diligence and work in the same way that being positive will, but I am fully prepared for the hard work. I want to work and I've been looking for meaningful and fulfilling work my whole life and I realize now I will never find it in the external world in the form of a job, career or occupation; I have found it in the form of personal development and work on myself.

I used to dread the future and 'growing up' because I couldn't see a clear path towards it but now that I've let go of that 'vision' for my future I'm more excited and I am actually looking forward to it. I can see that my future holds so many possibilities and that is exhilarating. I now look forward to living those moments because that is all we really have: the present. Instead of living in my head I am going to live in the here and now. I am looking forward to an amazing and wonderful life in my future but I will live it and enjoy it when I get there, for now I will enjoy where I am because I will never be here again and I will never have this moment back. Why skip over the now in order to have some illusion of a beautiful future? The future will come no matter what but in the meantime I am going to work hard, have fun and enjoy the process! As always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)

The Start of My Life

Last week I had a bit of an epiphany moment and it came courtesy of the universe and finally listening to myself. I feel like I'm finally listening to my inner wise old woman, my inner child and the signals from the universe. I've spent the majority of my adult life fighting; fighting myself, my friends, my parents, my family and society. And where has it got me? Good question that I have answered in a previous blog post but to sum it up: I'm out of shape, overweight, unhappy, almost 30, in debt, living with my parents and working a going-nowhere part-time job. I feel lost and this week was a highlight of those feelings as I felt like I was hitting rock bottom emotionally. I've put on a really good external face that I'm happy with my life and I'm ok with just scraping by, but I'm not. I'm tired of putting my life on hold while I "get my shit together", ie: working just to work in order to pay off my debt and then I'll start living and being happy. Screw that! I'm sick of it, I'm sick of playing small and trying to ignore the nagging from my soul!

I've ignored my true self and my true calling for way too long because I've bought into all the naysayers and the negativity from the people who supposedly care about me and love me and just 'want the best for me'. Well their idea of what's best for me is not my idea of what's best for me and I KNOW it's not what's best for me! I used to fight in the right way, when I was younger I used to fight for myself to prove the naysayers wrong. When someone told me I couldn't do something or that something couldn't be done, it was like it became a challenge for me, a personal internal challenge to prove those people and society wrong. I always wanted to be the person who did the things that no one thought was possible or were too afraid to try themselves. Somewhere along the line I lost that fight, I lost that drive, I lost my true grit and I'm ready to bring it back!

While I laid in my bed one day last week, in the throws of a crying episode, I realized that my entire world view needs to change. I realized that I'm trying to approach my life the same way every time and every time I've found myself back at the beginning and no where closer to where I want to be but I keep trying the same thing again and again and expecting different results, that is the definition of insanity is it not...?!

So here I am at the cusp of the rest of my life and instead of playing small, instead of buying into everyone else's opinions, instead of just giving in & giving up I'm going to do it differently, I'm going to go against the grain and against all the traditional advice and follow my heart! So far the traditional advice has not worked because I'm not a traditional person and I'm never going to just fit into and accept the status quo. It's time I truly embraced my true self, my deepest held dreams and desires and went after what I wanted with the fight and drive I know I possess and prove all the naysayers wrong! I can no longer wait until the "timing is right" because it'll never be the right time, I must create the right time and create the life of my dreams because I refuse to go to my grave regretting all the things I didn't do. Even if I fail, at least I can say I tried, I actually gave it all the effort and power it deserves and I know I possess before admitting defeat. I seem to like to take a self-defeatist attitude toward myself, my dreams and my desires a lot of the time. I've been a supreme saboteur of my own life for way too long, but no longer, no longer will I allow my internal gremlins/demons destroy me!

I've been talking in general so far and now I want to break down the specifics of what my life will entail moving forward into the future:

- I will no longer apologize for being myself or for expressing my true self or my dreams and desires;

- I will take responsibility for my own happiness and not let external people, circumstances and events dictate my internal state;

- I will embrace my shadow self and my various emotions, look at them and deal with them and express them without apology;

- Accept that I may have to lose a large part of my current life in this pursuit but also realize I will gain so much more in this new life;

- Take care of myself and my body everyday through self-love & acceptance and by only putting the best stuff into my body, being active and spiritual;

- Continue to strive for all the tenants that are important to my uncommonly wealthy life

- Work hard everyday and in every way and stop letting myself off the hook;

- Stop giving away my power by blaming other people, situations and society for my life; take back my power by living purposefully everyday;

- Find something to be grateful for everyday and enjoy the life I'm living right now;

- No longer allow FEAR to run my life and keep me small;
- Enjoy the journey! :)

This is going to be the start of something new and amazing for me and I know it won't be easy and it won't be smooth sailing the entire time but I can't let small hiccups be my excuse to give up or give in. I'm prepared to keep working hard in the face of what may seem like insurmountable odds because this is what I've always wanted and can no longer ignore. I also realize that it'll be amazing and exhilarating as well and that I'll be happy and more fulfilled. Life and the universe will open up in response to my acceptance of this invitation. World: here I come and as always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)