What I'm Thinking about Today - The Past

After reading an article in the New York Times the other day about the small happy life and spending some time reminiscing with a friend, I find myself thinking about the difference between my mindset in my 20s versus now.

Now: 

As I come close to the completion of my first year as a 30 year old I find my mindset has shifted a great deal as compared to that of my 20-something self. 

Then: 

When I think back to some of the foolish childhood capers and misadventures I participated in it makes me chuckle and shake my head.

I smile to myself thinking about it now but I was once a bit of a rebel. I used to skirt authority just for the hell of it and many times this just ended up hurting me. 

Another memory that has caused me to smile to myself was the thought of the 'fun zone'. When I was younger I was witness to one after another of my friends and family members succumb to adulthood and inevitably leave the 'fun zone'. I swore to myself, and anyone else that would listen, that that would never be me, I would never leave the fun zone.

I also remember wanting to be rich and famous when I was young. I pictured myself partying with movie stars on yachts and flying around the world on private jets.

I spent the month of my 30th birthday galavanting across Europe with young people and I can say for a fact that travel did change me. This was the first trip of its type that I'd ever done and it lead to many eye-opening discoveries about myself and the world.

Nowish:

It makes me laugh to think that I was still thinking many of these things less than a year ago as I transitioned from a 20-something into a 30-something. It's striking how quickly my attitude has now changed.

I'll always cherish the memories of my childhood misadventures but I'm also glad those days are behind me. I still want to have fun adventures and great stories to tell but it'll be of a different kind. 

I still have that rebellious spirit in me, I'll never lose it, but the why and how of my rebellion has changed. I still have the need to do things differently albeit in more healthy and constructive ways. I still need to find my own path to things and I'll still pursue something just to prove the naysayers wrong but not at the expense of my health and sanity. 

I'm definitely out of the so-called 'fun zone' now, the one characterized by irresponsible decisions, sleepless nights and crazy boozing. Instead I find myself appreciating the small, quiet and happy life more and more everyday.

Now I feel myself grateful for my privacy and I find luxury in the everyday experience of having space and time for myself. I also appreciate the few quality friends and family that I do still have and I enjoy the occasional shindig with them.

When I returned from traveling in Europe I returned home with a new appreciation for home and the simple life. I came back from this trip with a renewed sense of life purpose and I was inspired by the things I did and saw. 

Right Now: 

When it's your birthday, people often ask: "do you feel any different now that your ___ age?" Usually the answer is a no but I can say for certain that this year I definitely feel different.

After all this reminiscing and thinking back to my Europe trip, I've realized what  I really want and value in life. Now I've come to some decisions about how to achieve my ideal simple and happy life. 

Decision Time:

I've decided that Im going to make this new city my home. 

Ive decided that I want the type of life that affords me the ability to travel the world on a regular basis. 

I've decided that I want a life that allows me to focus my health. 

I've decided I want a life that allows me the time and freedom to enjoy my loved-ones. 

Action Time: 

So now how am I going to go about achieving these life goals?!

Appreciate what I already have: a great job that pays well, has great benefits and amazing time off. 

Appreciation of my loved-ones and putting time & energy into nurturing those that are already in my life as well as pursuing making new connections.

Simplify and minimize my life as much as possible. 

Get my finances under control and live within my means. 

Continue to make my health a priority everyday. 

Continue to share myself and my gifts with the world in whatever ways possible. 

The ideal simple and happy life that I crave is a work in progress but I feel energized in the journey of living and working in a way that affords my uncommonly wealthy lifestyle. 

Updates and more posts to come about all of this, so stay tuned!  

What are you goals for your uncommonly wealthy life and what are you doing to get there? 

As always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life now and into the future! :)

New Year

As 2013 comes to a close it's time for me to reflect on the year that's ending and make plans and set goals for the upcoming year. I've always been the type to make New Years resolutions, however I've pretty inconsistent about my follow through. I want this year to be different and I know it will be. So what makes this year so different: I'll unpack that for you now.

A little over a year ago was January 1, 2013 and in looking back at where I was and the person I was in that moment seems very different to who I've become. I'm not perfect and I still have many places to go and lots of work to do on myself but I'm starting this year from a much better place than last. At this time last year I was living with my parents and working a part-time minimum wage job. I was very happy to be employed considering the previous year I had been unemployed. So I made the usual New Years resolutions of paying down my debt and getting in shape, but the most important was achieving independence through achieving a full time job. By the end of 2013 I had achieved my most important resolutions: a full-time job in another that has definitely given me independence and I know it will lead to a better financial future and overall future for myself. 

As 2013 winds down and I'm preparing for 2014 I'm feeling like a new person, the kind of feeling that I'm finally reaching adulthood and a maturity level I never thought possible. This in large part due to the fact that I was finally forced to take care of myself and my own life because I'm no longer living with my parents. It feels great to finally be independent and have the feeling of not relying on anyone else for my life. I finally feel free to do whatever I want with my life and the possibilities are endless!

In looking back at this year I can also say that I've learned some highly valuable lessons that I will carry over into the new year. I've learned:
- That 'adulthood' doesn't relate to the number of years under your belt, it's a state of being, feeling and acting;
- Working full time while also taking care of yourself and your life is hard work and I understand why I delayed it for so long, but in doing so I feel like I've also delayed a lot of the benefits that come along with it;
- In moving several hours away from friends and family I've been forced to fend for myself by feeding myself, paying for myself, cleaning up after myself and all the tedious tasks that go along with 'adulthood';
- I finally feel like if I could get to a place where I'm living the life I want, I'm taking care of myself and my responsibilities on the regular and with consistency, maybe then I'll be ready to take care of another person and have them join my life;
- If I really want something then I need to work at it continually and consistently everyday.

Another important resolution that I made last year was to become more assertive in my life. This included finding out what I want out of life and the things that are important to me and then fiercely defending myself and these things from the outside world. I experienced many things this year that helped me to become more assertive and I now have a better idea of what I want from life. I also realize that it's more important to me to be assertive in what I want from life then trying to please everyone. I want to have a happy and harmonious life and I realize as I'm getting older that I have less tolerance for falseness and untruths; therefore I will continue to simply my life through assertiveness going into 2014. 

In honour of the new year I've made a list of some very specific new years resolutions that will serve me in the coming year:

- Pay off a least a quarter of my total debt this year. 

- Put $2000 in savings this year. 

- Take a trip out west this year. 

- Workout at least 3 days a week that includes running, swimming, yoga and body weight exercises.  

- Eat healthy everyday by preparing my own meals with minimal wheat, diary and sugar. 

- Eat out a maximum of once per week. 

- Overall goal of losing 50 lbs by the end of the year. 

- Excel in my job, do the best I can every shift and stay out of the drama and politics. 

- Maintain my current relationships, meet new people, make friends, explore the city, expand my horizons and learn new things. 

- Expand my cake decorating, chocolate working, baking and tea horizons through courses, workshops and experimentation and start setting the foundation for a thriving business. 

- Improve my web presence by writing a blog post every 2 weeks. 

- Learn how to properly write a screenplay and then write one.

So as you can see I do have some lofty goals for this year and I could look at that list and get overwhelmed but I really know I'm capable of it and that I can handle it. I've been letting myself off too easy in the past and now it's time I start making myself accountable to myself because if I don't do it no one else will. As always here's to an uncommonly wealthy life and new year! :)

November Resolutions

It is now November and with it comes the winter weather. As much as I love the snow and winter sports, I do not; however, look forward to the cold weather and I would prefer to hibernate throughout winter or else live somewhere warmer. November also signals that we're nearing the end of the year with only 2 months left in the year! Wow, that doesn't seem like a lot but it is more than enough time to start some new things and ingrain some new habits and patterns into my life. So instead of waiting until January and the beginning of a new year to make some resolutions, I've decided to make some November resolutions and start working on them now so that come the new year I have some new habits and patterns already ingrained so that it becomes much easier to continue in 2014.

 

First of all, the most important change I want to make to my life is to become a more positive person. I'm not talking about the kind that leads to denial and helplessness, I'm talking about the kind that doesn't allow the external world to dictate my internal state. I'm talking about decreasing my own suffering by taking responsibility for my life. This includes decreasing complaining, excuse making and blaming the external world for my troubles. Instead I want to work on always looking for a silver lining in every situation. This may seem like a somewhat simple task, however it is not; it will take much practice and patience to unlearn old habits and patterns of thinking and seeing the world and learn a completely new way.

We are socialized to be negative and realistic but it is not our nature, just think of children: they are the most positive, wide-eyed optimists I have ever met! Then we teach them that it's not realistic and life is hard and blah, blah, blah. All those limiting and false beliefs that keep us supposedly safe and in our comfort zones. For example, back in the summer I was experiencing a bunch of external circumstances that at the time I thought were making me happy, but even when I had these things in my life and especially when they were gone I found out that I wasn't truly happy internally. I'm realizing that in order to live a happy and fulfilled life I need to be happy with myself in the here and now regardless of my external circumstances. Sometimes this is hard to do, especially when going through particularly difficult times or situations.

Next I need to start being accountable to myself about where my time and energy goes. In the past I have just gone with my whimsy and let others take control of my time. In that sense I let friendships and relationships and family members control my time and energy and let them create distractions for me. Then I would get sad and depressed that I felt like my life wasn't my own and I would never get done the things I actually wanted to do and wanted to put my time and energy towards. The solution to this, I have realized, is to tightly schedule and regulate my time and fiercely protect this schedule from outside intrusion. This is going to be a hard one for me but I have taken a cue from S.A. Wilson and her unwavering dedication to her craft and you can too.

Another important part of my journey for the end of this year is to let go of my attachment to expectations and outcomes. For example, I seem to always be planning 10 steps in the future and thinking about what will become of me if this and that happens or doesn't happen instead of enjoying the present moment. In this sense I seem to sabotage potentially good things by getting angry, upset and frustrated when situations, things and people don't live up to my expectations. I intend to focus on enjoying the present while planning for the future and letting go of the outcome. This means doing what I can to plan and schedule my life and do things that will get me to the life I want and deserve but at the same time enjoy where I am now and enjoy the process and the journey and also have faith in the universe and the fact that everything is happening FOR me and exactly how it is supposed to.

Wow, that's a lot to tackle and I know it will take a lot of diligence and work in the same way that being positive will, but I am fully prepared for the hard work. I want to work and I've been looking for meaningful and fulfilling work my whole life and I realize now I will never find it in the external world in the form of a job, career or occupation; I have found it in the form of personal development and work on myself.

I used to dread the future and 'growing up' because I couldn't see a clear path towards it but now that I've let go of that 'vision' for my future I'm more excited and I am actually looking forward to it. I can see that my future holds so many possibilities and that is exhilarating. I now look forward to living those moments because that is all we really have: the present. Instead of living in my head I am going to live in the here and now. I am looking forward to an amazing and wonderful life in my future but I will live it and enjoy it when I get there, for now I will enjoy where I am because I will never be here again and I will never have this moment back. Why skip over the now in order to have some illusion of a beautiful future? The future will come no matter what but in the meantime I am going to work hard, have fun and enjoy the process! As always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)

Experiences Instead of Stuff

Many things have happened in my life since I lasted posted. All of these things have lead to me making a paramount life decision. This decision was always something that I felt and knew but that I didn't necessarily intellectually accept until just recently. This fundamental life truth is that I would rather spend my time, money and energy accumulating amazing life experiences instead of stuff. I have always felt this way however I'm only now realizing what this actually means and will entail. Let me explain.

Ever since I can remember I have always felt out of place in this world in which we call our modern western society. I have never understood the motives, desires and attitudes of my peers. I have always been one to feel (and at times act) rebellious towards authority figures, peers/colleagues and our society. I never understood the desire of females my age to rush into a 'fairy tale wedding' with any old guy just so they could walk down the aisle in a princess dress and/or their desire to procreate as soon as possible. I also never wanted to be dependent on anyone else for my life and livelihood, especially my partner. I never understood why people make themselves miserable and sick working at a job they hate for a soulless corporation that could care less about them just so they can buy a bunch of stuff, move to the suburbs, buy a house, car and have 2.5 kids all while accumulating piles of debt that lock them into their soul-sucking jobs and keeps them chained to their debt and location-dependent. When I think about the future of our so-called adult lives, why does anyone want that, why does anyone do it? It just sounds so terrible to me and a never-ending cycle. Once we settle for the things that don't make us happy in our lives it becomes easier and easier to settle for other not so great situations like toxic relationships and social injustices (to name a few).

By accepting the status quo we feed into it and it will never change. I just never understood and still don't understand the appeal of living this average life just like everyone else. I think there are others who have felt and/or feel this way, however as we grow older the world beats you down and you may find that you start to question yourself because you can't see any alternatives...most of the people you know, meet, trust and even love live this way and/or strive to live this way. So somewhere along the line you give in, little by little and it chips away at your resolve and you get caught in the cycle. It's like a trap and it's very hard to escape because oftentimes your friends and family are your jailors.

One of the major symptoms of this 'modern society mentality' (aptly named by yours truly) is the consumerism pathology. This pathology is characterized by an obsessive compulsion to consume as witnessed by overspending, buying things that one does not need, spending money one does not have and in extreme cases hoarding. Consumerism can be thought of as an addiction in a similar manner to the way we describe addictions to gambling, sex and/or food to name a few. The compulsive shopper gets a high from a new purchase in an effort to fill an emotional void in their life and then finds themselves feeling emptier (& poorer) than before when the high quickly dissipates and they're off again chasing a new, stronger and better high than last time.

I know this pathology very well because I have succumbed to it in the past and I'm still firmly in its grasps. Earlier in my adult life I found myself lost, alone and damaged and instead of listening to myself and the universe I listened to society and made some colossal mistakes. I had lost my trust in myself because of mistakes I'd made that hurt myself and my loved ones so I thought I could make up for it by doing what I was told, but that didn't work out so well. In ignoring my own instincts and the signs from the universe, I set myself up to fail, which was the one thing I was so afraid of doing. I realize now that mistakes are inevitable and a natural part of life and especially important in our development and growth, which was a huge step forward for me. However, before I realized this fundamental life lesson I went through a depression that was fueled by compulsive spending.

So I'm here today feeling like my life is making a lot more sense and I think I'm figuring it out, slowly but surely, but I'm still living with the consequences of my previous actions. I am shackled by credit card debt and a student loan with not much to show for it and I find myself dependent on other people (my parents) to sustain myself. I could have a really negative outlook on the entire situation, which I have in the past, but instead I have chosen to see the positive in it. I'm slowly chipping away at my debt and living with my parents has given me the freedom to explore myself again and to truly figure out my life and calling. I will also have a chance to explore living more of the life that I've always wanted and that starts with becoming minimalist.

I realize that another part of being a minimalist is to appreciate what I already have, even if that's not much, instead of always wanting more and wanting what everyone else has. So a major goal that I would like to add to my summer purge challenge is the appreciation of what I already have. I have also been inspired lately by a few life-changing experiences and amazing new people who have entered my life that have all reinforced my own feelings and the messages from the universe that rich life experiences are way more important to me than a bunch of stuff that I barely use or look at and just gather dust. Therefore, I'm here today to re-devote myself to minimizing my life by purging my stuff so that I can eventually become a location-independent globe-trotter full to the brim of awesome memories! :)