New Year

As 2013 comes to a close it's time for me to reflect on the year that's ending and make plans and set goals for the upcoming year. I've always been the type to make New Years resolutions, however I've pretty inconsistent about my follow through. I want this year to be different and I know it will be. So what makes this year so different: I'll unpack that for you now.

A little over a year ago was January 1, 2013 and in looking back at where I was and the person I was in that moment seems very different to who I've become. I'm not perfect and I still have many places to go and lots of work to do on myself but I'm starting this year from a much better place than last. At this time last year I was living with my parents and working a part-time minimum wage job. I was very happy to be employed considering the previous year I had been unemployed. So I made the usual New Years resolutions of paying down my debt and getting in shape, but the most important was achieving independence through achieving a full time job. By the end of 2013 I had achieved my most important resolutions: a full-time job in another that has definitely given me independence and I know it will lead to a better financial future and overall future for myself. 

As 2013 winds down and I'm preparing for 2014 I'm feeling like a new person, the kind of feeling that I'm finally reaching adulthood and a maturity level I never thought possible. This in large part due to the fact that I was finally forced to take care of myself and my own life because I'm no longer living with my parents. It feels great to finally be independent and have the feeling of not relying on anyone else for my life. I finally feel free to do whatever I want with my life and the possibilities are endless!

In looking back at this year I can also say that I've learned some highly valuable lessons that I will carry over into the new year. I've learned:
- That 'adulthood' doesn't relate to the number of years under your belt, it's a state of being, feeling and acting;
- Working full time while also taking care of yourself and your life is hard work and I understand why I delayed it for so long, but in doing so I feel like I've also delayed a lot of the benefits that come along with it;
- In moving several hours away from friends and family I've been forced to fend for myself by feeding myself, paying for myself, cleaning up after myself and all the tedious tasks that go along with 'adulthood';
- I finally feel like if I could get to a place where I'm living the life I want, I'm taking care of myself and my responsibilities on the regular and with consistency, maybe then I'll be ready to take care of another person and have them join my life;
- If I really want something then I need to work at it continually and consistently everyday.

Another important resolution that I made last year was to become more assertive in my life. This included finding out what I want out of life and the things that are important to me and then fiercely defending myself and these things from the outside world. I experienced many things this year that helped me to become more assertive and I now have a better idea of what I want from life. I also realize that it's more important to me to be assertive in what I want from life then trying to please everyone. I want to have a happy and harmonious life and I realize as I'm getting older that I have less tolerance for falseness and untruths; therefore I will continue to simply my life through assertiveness going into 2014. 

In honour of the new year I've made a list of some very specific new years resolutions that will serve me in the coming year:

- Pay off a least a quarter of my total debt this year. 

- Put $2000 in savings this year. 

- Take a trip out west this year. 

- Workout at least 3 days a week that includes running, swimming, yoga and body weight exercises.  

- Eat healthy everyday by preparing my own meals with minimal wheat, diary and sugar. 

- Eat out a maximum of once per week. 

- Overall goal of losing 50 lbs by the end of the year. 

- Excel in my job, do the best I can every shift and stay out of the drama and politics. 

- Maintain my current relationships, meet new people, make friends, explore the city, expand my horizons and learn new things. 

- Expand my cake decorating, chocolate working, baking and tea horizons through courses, workshops and experimentation and start setting the foundation for a thriving business. 

- Improve my web presence by writing a blog post every 2 weeks. 

- Learn how to properly write a screenplay and then write one.

So as you can see I do have some lofty goals for this year and I could look at that list and get overwhelmed but I really know I'm capable of it and that I can handle it. I've been letting myself off too easy in the past and now it's time I start making myself accountable to myself because if I don't do it no one else will. As always here's to an uncommonly wealthy life and new year! :)

November Resolutions

It is now November and with it comes the winter weather. As much as I love the snow and winter sports, I do not; however, look forward to the cold weather and I would prefer to hibernate throughout winter or else live somewhere warmer. November also signals that we're nearing the end of the year with only 2 months left in the year! Wow, that doesn't seem like a lot but it is more than enough time to start some new things and ingrain some new habits and patterns into my life. So instead of waiting until January and the beginning of a new year to make some resolutions, I've decided to make some November resolutions and start working on them now so that come the new year I have some new habits and patterns already ingrained so that it becomes much easier to continue in 2014.

 

First of all, the most important change I want to make to my life is to become a more positive person. I'm not talking about the kind that leads to denial and helplessness, I'm talking about the kind that doesn't allow the external world to dictate my internal state. I'm talking about decreasing my own suffering by taking responsibility for my life. This includes decreasing complaining, excuse making and blaming the external world for my troubles. Instead I want to work on always looking for a silver lining in every situation. This may seem like a somewhat simple task, however it is not; it will take much practice and patience to unlearn old habits and patterns of thinking and seeing the world and learn a completely new way.

We are socialized to be negative and realistic but it is not our nature, just think of children: they are the most positive, wide-eyed optimists I have ever met! Then we teach them that it's not realistic and life is hard and blah, blah, blah. All those limiting and false beliefs that keep us supposedly safe and in our comfort zones. For example, back in the summer I was experiencing a bunch of external circumstances that at the time I thought were making me happy, but even when I had these things in my life and especially when they were gone I found out that I wasn't truly happy internally. I'm realizing that in order to live a happy and fulfilled life I need to be happy with myself in the here and now regardless of my external circumstances. Sometimes this is hard to do, especially when going through particularly difficult times or situations.

Next I need to start being accountable to myself about where my time and energy goes. In the past I have just gone with my whimsy and let others take control of my time. In that sense I let friendships and relationships and family members control my time and energy and let them create distractions for me. Then I would get sad and depressed that I felt like my life wasn't my own and I would never get done the things I actually wanted to do and wanted to put my time and energy towards. The solution to this, I have realized, is to tightly schedule and regulate my time and fiercely protect this schedule from outside intrusion. This is going to be a hard one for me but I have taken a cue from S.A. Wilson and her unwavering dedication to her craft and you can too.

Another important part of my journey for the end of this year is to let go of my attachment to expectations and outcomes. For example, I seem to always be planning 10 steps in the future and thinking about what will become of me if this and that happens or doesn't happen instead of enjoying the present moment. In this sense I seem to sabotage potentially good things by getting angry, upset and frustrated when situations, things and people don't live up to my expectations. I intend to focus on enjoying the present while planning for the future and letting go of the outcome. This means doing what I can to plan and schedule my life and do things that will get me to the life I want and deserve but at the same time enjoy where I am now and enjoy the process and the journey and also have faith in the universe and the fact that everything is happening FOR me and exactly how it is supposed to.

Wow, that's a lot to tackle and I know it will take a lot of diligence and work in the same way that being positive will, but I am fully prepared for the hard work. I want to work and I've been looking for meaningful and fulfilling work my whole life and I realize now I will never find it in the external world in the form of a job, career or occupation; I have found it in the form of personal development and work on myself.

I used to dread the future and 'growing up' because I couldn't see a clear path towards it but now that I've let go of that 'vision' for my future I'm more excited and I am actually looking forward to it. I can see that my future holds so many possibilities and that is exhilarating. I now look forward to living those moments because that is all we really have: the present. Instead of living in my head I am going to live in the here and now. I am looking forward to an amazing and wonderful life in my future but I will live it and enjoy it when I get there, for now I will enjoy where I am because I will never be here again and I will never have this moment back. Why skip over the now in order to have some illusion of a beautiful future? The future will come no matter what but in the meantime I am going to work hard, have fun and enjoy the process! As always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)