Enough with the Excuses!

The other day I had a visit from my sister and she gave me some really great advice that frankly I needed to hear. Her simple advice was to just start writing: she told me that I can publish what I write instantly chapter by chapter using the website wattpad.com as she has been doing. She also told me that I have a lot of great ideas and that I should just write them because they deserve to be shared with the world. It seems like simple advice but it was exactly the kind of kick in the butt I needed. 

I interpreted this advice as: 'enough with the excuses, just do the work already!' Which is nothing new, this is the advice I've read and heard before many times, but I guess I just finally got it. I got it in a new way, in a way that I've never experienced before. I've had the experience many times in my life of understanding many different concepts intellectually before truly understanding it on the other important levels: emotionally, spiritually and physically. This is an example of a piece of advice that's gone in one ear and out the other so many times and I finally get it, I really do!

To me it means so many different things and it can be applied to so many different areas of my life that it feels like a game-changer, like this is a really important turning point in my adult life. I've made excuses about my life circumstances, I've made excuses about why I won't lose weight, I've made excuses about my finances and I've made excuses for myself. And these excuses are all lies, lies that I tell myself to feel better about the reasons why I'm not achieving the things I want to achieve, why I'm not where I want to be in my life and why I'm overweight and unhappy. In their truest forms they're all just different names for the same thing: resistance. 

Resistance rears it's ugly head every time we attempt or even think about trying to improve ourselves in anyway or any time we venture into the realm of creativity. I've experienced resistance in creative areas such as writing and acting, in financial and freedom areas and in the area of health and fitness. I started this blog as a 'lifestyle design' blog because I wanted to design my life a certain way and I've made a lot of strides in this regard but I've also made a few stumbles. And that's ok, I'm not here to beat myself up about it, I'm here to acknowledge how far I've come, what I've learned and what I need to do to keep moving forward. 

I was looking back at some of my previous posts and it's amazing how many of my resolutions and other commitments I've made in this blog that I've actually completed. Here's a breakdown:

New Year's Resolutions:

- I've paid off all my credit cards by using a consolidation loan which I now pay back in smaller monthly increments with a fraction of the interest,

- I have money in my savings account and it's more than what I originally predicted,

- I took a trip out west to Winnipeg to visit my sister in the spring and I'm going on a dream Europe vacation this fall,

- I've started working with a personal trainer and I have a gym membership,

- I've gone through ups & downs when it comes to the eating heathy but I'm re-committing to making more of my own meals because I love to cook,

- I haven't lost the weight I wanted but I've set myself a new goal of getting heathy, strong and in shape. I want to look and feel better even if the scale doesn't change a whole lot,

- I've excelled in my job, I feel like I get better everyday and I'm still learning, I stay out of the politics and I try my best always. I'm loving my job and that's a choice I made, 

- I've actually started to make new friends in toronto, which is awesome! I've reconnected with some old friends, I've maintained most of my old Ottawa friendships and I'm learning a lot about my new city. Unfortunately I did say goodbye to a longterm friendship this year but in the end I think it was for the best, it had become a toxic friendship that was no longer benefitting either of us. I haven't closed that door forever though, maybe sometime in the future when we're both more mature and have forgiven each other we can be friends again but even if not, it was great while it lasted. :)

- I've done a bit of cake decorating this year but I think it'll remain a hobby for now as I concentrate on other life endeavors,

- I've haven't been blogging as much as I wanted to but that will be changing. I have a lot of fun ideas for future blogs in the next few months as we closeout 2014 (including a rundown of my Europe trip),

- I haven't written a screenplay but I've started writing again. I'm going to take my sisters advice and just start writing on wattpad and I'm also committing myself to the November novel writing month challenge this year,

- And lastly the acting career I was hoping to start once I was in Toronto: I haven't done it and frankly I'm not sure if I will. I have some soul-searching to do in that respect but for right now I'm happy focusing on my writing. :)

In terms of a couple more things I mentioned:

- I've started my 3 stars blog and I've posted my first post!

- I'm still on the fence about my favourite things and a baking blog/vlog. I think at this point concentrating on the 2 blogs and a novel (or 2) is my priority. I can always come back to them in the future. 

All in all I think I've come a LONG way this year and I've made some great progress. I still have a long way to go but that's ok, as long as I'm working, as long as I have creative and important (to me at least) things to do then I'm happy. I just have to keep moving forward and realize that everyday will be a new struggle against the resistance demon. I won't win every day but it's the small battles that add up to the big victories. I just have to keep moving forward and winning the little battles. Enough with the excuses because when I look back on my life in 5, 10, 20 or more years I don't my days to add up to a big pile of excuses, I want them to add up to an amazing and uncommonly wealthy life full of wonderful experiences and adventures. So now you just have to go out there and do it! :D

Welcome to My Blog!

I have been struggling for weeks to find the perfect topic for my very first blog post. I had so many ideas floating around in my head but I was never really happy with any of them. Just now as I was lying in bed unable to sleep and contemplating my existence it came to me, in the same way that any good idea does, like a bolt of lighting that jolts you out of bed and into action. So here I am with my very first blog post about... but wait I need to give you a little background before I explain the premise of this post and the blog itself.

In the past few months of my life there have been a lot of weird things that have happened to me. It's funny how at the time one can look at their life and feel stagnated but in looking back with hindsight bias one can see the forest for the trees....too many analogies possibly in that one...? Anyways, what I am trying to say is that all these weird occurrences have added up and eventually led to this one glorious moment and the beginning of this blog!

It seems like all the bizarre occurrences of my life this past year have led to this one bizarre day a few weeks ago that I remember very well. So I will start with explaining that I was feeling like I had been stuck in a rut and going around in circles for a long time when it comes to my life and career path. I have been stagnated by my very own decision paralysis. I think a lot of people can relate to this state; it is a state of being in which you find yourself unable to move forward because of the inability to make a concrete decision and act on it. I have so many ideas, interests and possible avenues that I could focus my attention towards that it is hard for me to decide which one to choose. I am paralyzed by a fear that I will make the wrong choice AGAIN and then I will be stuck or in the same place as now or in an even worse situation. I also fear that if I choose one thing than by default I will have to give up the other things. This is tough for me because I know I need to make a decision in order to move forward and I really want to move forward with my life and start doing what I love.

The point being that this was never more evident than the day I went to a healthy living expo with my best friend. At said Expo, I meet a woman who was a holistic healer, working at a healing practice that specialized in various techniques, one that I had never heard about before was colour therapy. I was skeptical but curious about the idea and my friend was the courageous one that asked for an explanation. The woman explained that is was the use of a variety of coloured jars and asking someone what colours appealed to them the most and then an explanation of how this is related to their personality and life. So my friend ventures forward and points out some coloured jars she finds attractive and the woman starts in on a perfect explanation of my best friend's personality and her best traits, it was eerie. I then decided to try it as well, seeing how she was highly accurate with my friend. So I stepped forward and pointed to a bottle which was a mix of orange and purple. She then explained that the fact that I choose that particular bottle means that I am a healer, someone who has a lot of wisdom to share and is able to help people in the healing arts, however I have a lot of fear that surrounds these gifts and my wisdom. BAM! Wow, that was a life changing moment for me. Both my friend and I were blown away by the accuracy of this stranger's description of us based solely on the colours that appealed to us. It was a big wow moment for me and made me think...

For example, I have for most of my short life always been attracted to health care related jobs and I have known from an early age that I wanted to help people, no matter what I ended up choosing as a career and life path, it had to be something that contributed to overall society in a positive way. I started at an early age as a Lifeguard and I taught swimming lessons to children, I volunteered my time and qualifications as often as possible to first aid related causes. I went into university with the intention of going to Medical school and when that didn't pan out I tried out nursing but I didn't finish my degree and then I found myself employed as a 911 operator for ambulance services. It may seem that my choices have been related to my life and work experiences and expertise but I have also found myself drawn to these professions, but somehow feeling not fulfilled in them. I thought about going the complementary and alternative medicine route but that was something that also required a lot of time and money and little support from family, friends and society as a whole. So now I find myself working for the municipal government doing a job that leaves me unfulfilled.

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I am afraid. I keep myself paralyzed and stuck because I am afraid of making a decision, I'm afraid of making the wrong one. So I don't make any decision and I stagnant. I have ideas but I don't start anything because I'm afraid I wont finish it, or I'm afraid I'll fail or even that I'm afraid I'll succeed. Most of all, I'm afraid of being vulnerable, of just totally being my true damaged, scared, horrific and beautiful self with another human being. So here I am at the corner of the rest of my life stuck scared and the rest of my life beautifully open and I find this blog. This lowly little blog can be that first step for me, it can be that place where I can safely try being vulnerable with the training wheels on. I want to share my life with the world, my trials and tribulations and the lessons I learn along the way so that others can learn and grow as well and maybe even get a little bit of entertainment out of it.

So on that fateful day this woman who I have never meet before and doesn't know me from Adam, has summed-up my entire life and existence in a couple sentences and with one dual-coloured bottle of liquid. My best friend and I both walked away from the experience feeling profoundly moved. What shot through me while I laid in bed this evening was that thought and those words from this woman; that I have a lot of wisdom to share and that I am afraid. I want to help people, I know that for a fact and I have always wanted to do that with my life, but I have struggled for a long time to figure out the right way for me to do that. I was hit tonight by the thought that this blog, this one right here, the one you are reading right now, can be that vehicle for me to help people. I know I am not the only person going through the things I am going through and I know I am learning and growing everyday and I really do want to share that journey with the world. If I can help one person's life be a little easier by learning from my mistakes instead of making their own then it will be worth it.

So welcome to my blog, Uncommon Wealth, the name of which comes from some distant memory from my youth. I think you can interrupt the title in whatever way seems fit for yourself but I know what it means to me. For me and in this context it refers to the richness that comes from a wonderful life, the wealth of happiness and prosperity that will never be found in monetary form. So here is to your uncommonly wealthy life! Cheers! :)