Enough with the Excuses!

The other day I had a visit from my sister and she gave me some really great advice that frankly I needed to hear. Her simple advice was to just start writing: she told me that I can publish what I write instantly chapter by chapter using the website wattpad.com as she has been doing. She also told me that I have a lot of great ideas and that I should just write them because they deserve to be shared with the world. It seems like simple advice but it was exactly the kind of kick in the butt I needed. 

I interpreted this advice as: 'enough with the excuses, just do the work already!' Which is nothing new, this is the advice I've read and heard before many times, but I guess I just finally got it. I got it in a new way, in a way that I've never experienced before. I've had the experience many times in my life of understanding many different concepts intellectually before truly understanding it on the other important levels: emotionally, spiritually and physically. This is an example of a piece of advice that's gone in one ear and out the other so many times and I finally get it, I really do!

To me it means so many different things and it can be applied to so many different areas of my life that it feels like a game-changer, like this is a really important turning point in my adult life. I've made excuses about my life circumstances, I've made excuses about why I won't lose weight, I've made excuses about my finances and I've made excuses for myself. And these excuses are all lies, lies that I tell myself to feel better about the reasons why I'm not achieving the things I want to achieve, why I'm not where I want to be in my life and why I'm overweight and unhappy. In their truest forms they're all just different names for the same thing: resistance. 

Resistance rears it's ugly head every time we attempt or even think about trying to improve ourselves in anyway or any time we venture into the realm of creativity. I've experienced resistance in creative areas such as writing and acting, in financial and freedom areas and in the area of health and fitness. I started this blog as a 'lifestyle design' blog because I wanted to design my life a certain way and I've made a lot of strides in this regard but I've also made a few stumbles. And that's ok, I'm not here to beat myself up about it, I'm here to acknowledge how far I've come, what I've learned and what I need to do to keep moving forward. 

I was looking back at some of my previous posts and it's amazing how many of my resolutions and other commitments I've made in this blog that I've actually completed. Here's a breakdown:

New Year's Resolutions:

- I've paid off all my credit cards by using a consolidation loan which I now pay back in smaller monthly increments with a fraction of the interest,

- I have money in my savings account and it's more than what I originally predicted,

- I took a trip out west to Winnipeg to visit my sister in the spring and I'm going on a dream Europe vacation this fall,

- I've started working with a personal trainer and I have a gym membership,

- I've gone through ups & downs when it comes to the eating heathy but I'm re-committing to making more of my own meals because I love to cook,

- I haven't lost the weight I wanted but I've set myself a new goal of getting heathy, strong and in shape. I want to look and feel better even if the scale doesn't change a whole lot,

- I've excelled in my job, I feel like I get better everyday and I'm still learning, I stay out of the politics and I try my best always. I'm loving my job and that's a choice I made, 

- I've actually started to make new friends in toronto, which is awesome! I've reconnected with some old friends, I've maintained most of my old Ottawa friendships and I'm learning a lot about my new city. Unfortunately I did say goodbye to a longterm friendship this year but in the end I think it was for the best, it had become a toxic friendship that was no longer benefitting either of us. I haven't closed that door forever though, maybe sometime in the future when we're both more mature and have forgiven each other we can be friends again but even if not, it was great while it lasted. :)

- I've done a bit of cake decorating this year but I think it'll remain a hobby for now as I concentrate on other life endeavors,

- I've haven't been blogging as much as I wanted to but that will be changing. I have a lot of fun ideas for future blogs in the next few months as we closeout 2014 (including a rundown of my Europe trip),

- I haven't written a screenplay but I've started writing again. I'm going to take my sisters advice and just start writing on wattpad and I'm also committing myself to the November novel writing month challenge this year,

- And lastly the acting career I was hoping to start once I was in Toronto: I haven't done it and frankly I'm not sure if I will. I have some soul-searching to do in that respect but for right now I'm happy focusing on my writing. :)

In terms of a couple more things I mentioned:

- I've started my 3 stars blog and I've posted my first post!

- I'm still on the fence about my favourite things and a baking blog/vlog. I think at this point concentrating on the 2 blogs and a novel (or 2) is my priority. I can always come back to them in the future. 

All in all I think I've come a LONG way this year and I've made some great progress. I still have a long way to go but that's ok, as long as I'm working, as long as I have creative and important (to me at least) things to do then I'm happy. I just have to keep moving forward and realize that everyday will be a new struggle against the resistance demon. I won't win every day but it's the small battles that add up to the big victories. I just have to keep moving forward and winning the little battles. Enough with the excuses because when I look back on my life in 5, 10, 20 or more years I don't my days to add up to a big pile of excuses, I want them to add up to an amazing and uncommonly wealthy life full of wonderful experiences and adventures. So now you just have to go out there and do it! :D

November Resolutions

It is now November and with it comes the winter weather. As much as I love the snow and winter sports, I do not; however, look forward to the cold weather and I would prefer to hibernate throughout winter or else live somewhere warmer. November also signals that we're nearing the end of the year with only 2 months left in the year! Wow, that doesn't seem like a lot but it is more than enough time to start some new things and ingrain some new habits and patterns into my life. So instead of waiting until January and the beginning of a new year to make some resolutions, I've decided to make some November resolutions and start working on them now so that come the new year I have some new habits and patterns already ingrained so that it becomes much easier to continue in 2014.

 

First of all, the most important change I want to make to my life is to become a more positive person. I'm not talking about the kind that leads to denial and helplessness, I'm talking about the kind that doesn't allow the external world to dictate my internal state. I'm talking about decreasing my own suffering by taking responsibility for my life. This includes decreasing complaining, excuse making and blaming the external world for my troubles. Instead I want to work on always looking for a silver lining in every situation. This may seem like a somewhat simple task, however it is not; it will take much practice and patience to unlearn old habits and patterns of thinking and seeing the world and learn a completely new way.

We are socialized to be negative and realistic but it is not our nature, just think of children: they are the most positive, wide-eyed optimists I have ever met! Then we teach them that it's not realistic and life is hard and blah, blah, blah. All those limiting and false beliefs that keep us supposedly safe and in our comfort zones. For example, back in the summer I was experiencing a bunch of external circumstances that at the time I thought were making me happy, but even when I had these things in my life and especially when they were gone I found out that I wasn't truly happy internally. I'm realizing that in order to live a happy and fulfilled life I need to be happy with myself in the here and now regardless of my external circumstances. Sometimes this is hard to do, especially when going through particularly difficult times or situations.

Next I need to start being accountable to myself about where my time and energy goes. In the past I have just gone with my whimsy and let others take control of my time. In that sense I let friendships and relationships and family members control my time and energy and let them create distractions for me. Then I would get sad and depressed that I felt like my life wasn't my own and I would never get done the things I actually wanted to do and wanted to put my time and energy towards. The solution to this, I have realized, is to tightly schedule and regulate my time and fiercely protect this schedule from outside intrusion. This is going to be a hard one for me but I have taken a cue from S.A. Wilson and her unwavering dedication to her craft and you can too.

Another important part of my journey for the end of this year is to let go of my attachment to expectations and outcomes. For example, I seem to always be planning 10 steps in the future and thinking about what will become of me if this and that happens or doesn't happen instead of enjoying the present moment. In this sense I seem to sabotage potentially good things by getting angry, upset and frustrated when situations, things and people don't live up to my expectations. I intend to focus on enjoying the present while planning for the future and letting go of the outcome. This means doing what I can to plan and schedule my life and do things that will get me to the life I want and deserve but at the same time enjoy where I am now and enjoy the process and the journey and also have faith in the universe and the fact that everything is happening FOR me and exactly how it is supposed to.

Wow, that's a lot to tackle and I know it will take a lot of diligence and work in the same way that being positive will, but I am fully prepared for the hard work. I want to work and I've been looking for meaningful and fulfilling work my whole life and I realize now I will never find it in the external world in the form of a job, career or occupation; I have found it in the form of personal development and work on myself.

I used to dread the future and 'growing up' because I couldn't see a clear path towards it but now that I've let go of that 'vision' for my future I'm more excited and I am actually looking forward to it. I can see that my future holds so many possibilities and that is exhilarating. I now look forward to living those moments because that is all we really have: the present. Instead of living in my head I am going to live in the here and now. I am looking forward to an amazing and wonderful life in my future but I will live it and enjoy it when I get there, for now I will enjoy where I am because I will never be here again and I will never have this moment back. Why skip over the now in order to have some illusion of a beautiful future? The future will come no matter what but in the meantime I am going to work hard, have fun and enjoy the process! As always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)