Emotional Seasons

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my emotions and feelings and specifically emotional seasons. I believe that just as the Earth goes through natural cycles that are marked by periods of hibernation, renewal, growth and change; we too as humans experience similar seasonal changes related to our emotions. 

I know that I, for one, have experienced periods of joy, sorrow, frustration, positivity, anger, happiness and more. These changes may or may not be linked to external factors such as the weather but more than likely it relates to internal struggles or epiphanies. 

Let me give you an example from my own life in terms of the emotional season that I'm currently wading through. 

Recently I've been experiencing what can only be described as an angry season. I've felt like I've had a very short fuse in regards to issues that really amount to very trivial things in the grand scheme of things. I recognize that I'm being irrational and needlessly irritated but even with this realization I still find myself quick to anger. What exactly is going on with me and what can I do about it?

These are the questions that have been rattling around in my brain throughout this current emotional season. I'm already starting in a good place in the fact that I'm self-aware enough to recognize what's going on. Ok, great, I know what's happening but why and what can I do about it?

As a side note I want to make it clear that I believe it's important to feel your feelings when they happen without trying to suppress them and without being too self-indulgent. It's a fine line I know and one that I'm still working to define but I think it changes all the time. 

Now I'm at point where the same issues that are making me angry are coming up time and time again and I've reached the point of self-indulgence. It's time to either accept or act. As that old saying goes: something along the lines of give me strength to accept the things I cannot change and change the things I cannot accept...? Or maybe that's my version.

Action time: I start with some personal explorations of the deep recesses of my brain, then I think back to what has been happening in my life lately and then I dig deeper to reveal the real reasons for my anger and frustration and then I tackle them.

So after much contemplation about my life circumstances and my feelings surrounding them I've realized that it all boils down to expectations. More precisely unmeet expectations. I've always enjoyed dreaming and planning for the future and as much fun as this can sometimes be, it also has a dark side; the anger, frustration and resentment that can arise from reality being incongruent with my imaginings.

I moved away from my hometown about a year and a half ago and in doing so I left behind many friends and most of my family. As much as moving away and being forced to take care of myself has been a good thing for me and finally forced me to be an adult, It has also been very hard. When I moved to the 'big city' I had a lot of expectations about what my life would look like and I realize now how childish those expectations were. 

I've always enjoyed imagining that my adult life would look like a friends or sex in the city episode but that's all it is; fun and fanciful imaginings. However, I think that deep down a part of me did expect my life to look all fun and shiny like the TV shows of my youth, and it does not. It may seem silly but I think it's important to hold onto the childish and youthful side of ourselves as adults and sometimes children are mini philosophers and sometimes they're quite silly. 

I guess this is one of those times where I have to remind my inner child that TV and movies aren't real and that reality is not the same but that doesn't mean it's worse. The thing about TV shows and especially movies is that they gloss over the everyday and sometimes boring things that make up life and in doing so make it seem like life should constantly dramatic. Honestly though, life can be so much better than these portrayals if we take the time to stop, look and appreciate. 

So how do I plan on getting over my angry season? I'm already starting to feel better having explored it and now written and shared about it. I'm going to lose the expectations and enjoy my current life. I'm going to make the best of my current situation and be pleasantly surprised by whatever life brings me. Honestly at this point in my life I'm enjoying the downtime, quiet and dramalessness that a boring adult life brings. 

As I feel the storm of my angry season lifting I'm looking towards the beautiful blue sky for the inevitable rainbow while enjoying and creating my uncommonly wealthy life. Cheers! 😊🌈

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

This post is long overdue. There are some reasons for that, which I'll explain, and I'll also be talking about some changes that'll be happening to this blog and my life. 

First of all I'm currently in month 6 of my Toronto life and the reason I've been gone so long from this blog has been due to a bit of a downturn I was experiencing in my mood. As this cold and bitter winter dragged on and I found myself fully engulfed in my new job, I also found myself feeling drained of energy and my life seemed meaningless and lacked joy. A big reason for this, I believe is my expectations. As is evident from reading previous blog posts, I was very excited and enthusiastic for this next chapter of my life that came with moving to Toronto. I think my end of winter blues came about due to unrealized expectations. Life was not happening as planned or as fast as I wanted and I was making myself miserable. 

More specifically; starting a new job and life in a new city was a tough transition: tougher than I expected it would be. I've been in a bit of a flunk all winter but I'm starting to feel better now. How is it that I achieved this new-found enlightenment? I just decided to I guess. It's really that simple: I remember feeling a similar way when I previously lived in Peterborough & Lindsay. In that case I eventually gave up and moved back home, essentially running home to mommy when life got tough. This time I wasn't going to do that! I realized that it had really only been a short time and that if I was determined to make a new life for myself here in my new city, that I had to stick it out, for better or for worse. I had made a big, scary change in my life and I did something that a lot of people wouldn't have the guts to do and I wasn't going to let anything stand in my way...not even myself!

I'm determined to make my life the best it can possibly be and I know that my external circumstances aren't always going to be amazing or great but I don't have control over a lot of that, what I do have control over first and foremost is my attitude and how I approach life. So I'm now focusing on the positive, taking stock of the great stuff and being grateful for the life I have, because yes even in the hard times, it could always be worse. I'm grateful that I have a great paying and secure full-time job that a lot people would kill for, I'm grateful to be young, single and living in the heart of a big city. I'm grateful that I do still have a lot of friends and family who love and care about me and just want to see me suceed and be happy. I've started to look at life a little differently in that it may not look like the 'sex in the city' dream I've created in my head but it pretty damn awesome when I refocus my view from that of childlike naivety & idealism to one of realism about how the real world works. It's a breath of fresh air to realize that if I continue to work hard, be positive, grateful and be myself then life will get better. I can't escape life so I might as well embrace it and appreciate the beauty and amazing thing that is my life because it will change, that's the only thing I know for sure, I'm not sure how it will change but I know it will so I choose to believe it will change for the better. 

Also in the vain of positively appreciating my life as it is now, I realize that having all this extra time on my hands, because of my lack of social life, is a bonus for working on myself and my many side projects. What are these projects you may be wondering? Well they have to do with the changes I mentioned earlier in this post. I've decided to take up my cake baking & decorating hobby once again and hopefully turn it into a successful side business. I've created a Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/AMcakesTO, twitter account: @amcakesto and soon to be unveiled baking blog and/or vlog. I've also decided that this blog will be refocused from the self-indulgent ramblings back to more concrete ideas on how to create an amazing or uncommonly wealthy life. :)

I'll also be introducing a couple new blogs and possibly a vlog this summer. I will be increasing my web presence through creative endeavours like t-shirts (using Zazzle & Snaptee) and writing as well as using many of the social media platforms I've involved with as ways to connect all these elements and increase traffic/awareness. As a mentioned I'll be creating a baking blog and possible vlog that'll complement by baking/cake decorating business. The other blogs that I'll be creating will be related to other interests of mine: a movie review blog called '3 Stars' and a blog of 'my favourite things' that'll highlight new tech, apps, gadgets, tools, fashion and everything else that I'm loving du jour. Links to come: stay tuned! 

I'm really excited for these changes and these new endeavours. They'll take up a lot of my 'free' time, which will be grand because they're all things that I love to do. I know that once I focus on myself and doing the things I love life will open up in amazing ways for me. Stay tuned, I'll keep you updated! As always, here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)