Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

This post is long overdue. There are some reasons for that, which I'll explain, and I'll also be talking about some changes that'll be happening to this blog and my life. 

First of all I'm currently in month 6 of my Toronto life and the reason I've been gone so long from this blog has been due to a bit of a downturn I was experiencing in my mood. As this cold and bitter winter dragged on and I found myself fully engulfed in my new job, I also found myself feeling drained of energy and my life seemed meaningless and lacked joy. A big reason for this, I believe is my expectations. As is evident from reading previous blog posts, I was very excited and enthusiastic for this next chapter of my life that came with moving to Toronto. I think my end of winter blues came about due to unrealized expectations. Life was not happening as planned or as fast as I wanted and I was making myself miserable. 

More specifically; starting a new job and life in a new city was a tough transition: tougher than I expected it would be. I've been in a bit of a flunk all winter but I'm starting to feel better now. How is it that I achieved this new-found enlightenment? I just decided to I guess. It's really that simple: I remember feeling a similar way when I previously lived in Peterborough & Lindsay. In that case I eventually gave up and moved back home, essentially running home to mommy when life got tough. This time I wasn't going to do that! I realized that it had really only been a short time and that if I was determined to make a new life for myself here in my new city, that I had to stick it out, for better or for worse. I had made a big, scary change in my life and I did something that a lot of people wouldn't have the guts to do and I wasn't going to let anything stand in my way...not even myself!

I'm determined to make my life the best it can possibly be and I know that my external circumstances aren't always going to be amazing or great but I don't have control over a lot of that, what I do have control over first and foremost is my attitude and how I approach life. So I'm now focusing on the positive, taking stock of the great stuff and being grateful for the life I have, because yes even in the hard times, it could always be worse. I'm grateful that I have a great paying and secure full-time job that a lot people would kill for, I'm grateful to be young, single and living in the heart of a big city. I'm grateful that I do still have a lot of friends and family who love and care about me and just want to see me suceed and be happy. I've started to look at life a little differently in that it may not look like the 'sex in the city' dream I've created in my head but it pretty damn awesome when I refocus my view from that of childlike naivety & idealism to one of realism about how the real world works. It's a breath of fresh air to realize that if I continue to work hard, be positive, grateful and be myself then life will get better. I can't escape life so I might as well embrace it and appreciate the beauty and amazing thing that is my life because it will change, that's the only thing I know for sure, I'm not sure how it will change but I know it will so I choose to believe it will change for the better. 

Also in the vain of positively appreciating my life as it is now, I realize that having all this extra time on my hands, because of my lack of social life, is a bonus for working on myself and my many side projects. What are these projects you may be wondering? Well they have to do with the changes I mentioned earlier in this post. I've decided to take up my cake baking & decorating hobby once again and hopefully turn it into a successful side business. I've created a Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/AMcakesTO, twitter account: @amcakesto and soon to be unveiled baking blog and/or vlog. I've also decided that this blog will be refocused from the self-indulgent ramblings back to more concrete ideas on how to create an amazing or uncommonly wealthy life. :)

I'll also be introducing a couple new blogs and possibly a vlog this summer. I will be increasing my web presence through creative endeavours like t-shirts (using Zazzle & Snaptee) and writing as well as using many of the social media platforms I've involved with as ways to connect all these elements and increase traffic/awareness. As a mentioned I'll be creating a baking blog and possible vlog that'll complement by baking/cake decorating business. The other blogs that I'll be creating will be related to other interests of mine: a movie review blog called '3 Stars' and a blog of 'my favourite things' that'll highlight new tech, apps, gadgets, tools, fashion and everything else that I'm loving du jour. Links to come: stay tuned! 

I'm really excited for these changes and these new endeavours. They'll take up a lot of my 'free' time, which will be grand because they're all things that I love to do. I know that once I focus on myself and doing the things I love life will open up in amazing ways for me. Stay tuned, I'll keep you updated! As always, here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)

The Start of My Life

Last week I had a bit of an epiphany moment and it came courtesy of the universe and finally listening to myself. I feel like I'm finally listening to my inner wise old woman, my inner child and the signals from the universe. I've spent the majority of my adult life fighting; fighting myself, my friends, my parents, my family and society. And where has it got me? Good question that I have answered in a previous blog post but to sum it up: I'm out of shape, overweight, unhappy, almost 30, in debt, living with my parents and working a going-nowhere part-time job. I feel lost and this week was a highlight of those feelings as I felt like I was hitting rock bottom emotionally. I've put on a really good external face that I'm happy with my life and I'm ok with just scraping by, but I'm not. I'm tired of putting my life on hold while I "get my shit together", ie: working just to work in order to pay off my debt and then I'll start living and being happy. Screw that! I'm sick of it, I'm sick of playing small and trying to ignore the nagging from my soul!

I've ignored my true self and my true calling for way too long because I've bought into all the naysayers and the negativity from the people who supposedly care about me and love me and just 'want the best for me'. Well their idea of what's best for me is not my idea of what's best for me and I KNOW it's not what's best for me! I used to fight in the right way, when I was younger I used to fight for myself to prove the naysayers wrong. When someone told me I couldn't do something or that something couldn't be done, it was like it became a challenge for me, a personal internal challenge to prove those people and society wrong. I always wanted to be the person who did the things that no one thought was possible or were too afraid to try themselves. Somewhere along the line I lost that fight, I lost that drive, I lost my true grit and I'm ready to bring it back!

While I laid in my bed one day last week, in the throws of a crying episode, I realized that my entire world view needs to change. I realized that I'm trying to approach my life the same way every time and every time I've found myself back at the beginning and no where closer to where I want to be but I keep trying the same thing again and again and expecting different results, that is the definition of insanity is it not...?!

So here I am at the cusp of the rest of my life and instead of playing small, instead of buying into everyone else's opinions, instead of just giving in & giving up I'm going to do it differently, I'm going to go against the grain and against all the traditional advice and follow my heart! So far the traditional advice has not worked because I'm not a traditional person and I'm never going to just fit into and accept the status quo. It's time I truly embraced my true self, my deepest held dreams and desires and went after what I wanted with the fight and drive I know I possess and prove all the naysayers wrong! I can no longer wait until the "timing is right" because it'll never be the right time, I must create the right time and create the life of my dreams because I refuse to go to my grave regretting all the things I didn't do. Even if I fail, at least I can say I tried, I actually gave it all the effort and power it deserves and I know I possess before admitting defeat. I seem to like to take a self-defeatist attitude toward myself, my dreams and my desires a lot of the time. I've been a supreme saboteur of my own life for way too long, but no longer, no longer will I allow my internal gremlins/demons destroy me!

I've been talking in general so far and now I want to break down the specifics of what my life will entail moving forward into the future:

- I will no longer apologize for being myself or for expressing my true self or my dreams and desires;

- I will take responsibility for my own happiness and not let external people, circumstances and events dictate my internal state;

- I will embrace my shadow self and my various emotions, look at them and deal with them and express them without apology;

- Accept that I may have to lose a large part of my current life in this pursuit but also realize I will gain so much more in this new life;

- Take care of myself and my body everyday through self-love & acceptance and by only putting the best stuff into my body, being active and spiritual;

- Continue to strive for all the tenants that are important to my uncommonly wealthy life

- Work hard everyday and in every way and stop letting myself off the hook;

- Stop giving away my power by blaming other people, situations and society for my life; take back my power by living purposefully everyday;

- Find something to be grateful for everyday and enjoy the life I'm living right now;

- No longer allow FEAR to run my life and keep me small;
- Enjoy the journey! :)

This is going to be the start of something new and amazing for me and I know it won't be easy and it won't be smooth sailing the entire time but I can't let small hiccups be my excuse to give up or give in. I'm prepared to keep working hard in the face of what may seem like insurmountable odds because this is what I've always wanted and can no longer ignore. I also realize that it'll be amazing and exhilarating as well and that I'll be happy and more fulfilled. Life and the universe will open up in response to my acceptance of this invitation. World: here I come and as always here's to your uncommonly wealthy life! :)