I was thinking of starting at the beginning but instead I'll start with right now, this moment right here, and then I'll go backwards. At this very moment in time I'm feeling super happy and grateful and honestly I can hardly tell you why...I feel giddy and full of energy and just overall full of joy. I intend to take this time in examining this seemingly odd attitude of mine because that's just the type of person I am: I really like to know the why's in life, maybe why I enjoy mysteries so much...?
Anyways, so the last 2 months, including the first few weeks of the new year (2014) I've been living life in the big city and loving every minute of it.
Anyways, so the last 2 months, including the first few weeks of the new year (2014) I've been living life in the big city and loving every minute of it.
The main point I want to make about this new life of mine is that it has finally forced me to realize some essential life lessons. These are lessons that I know many people have been trying to tell me and trying to get me to learn for years and I know that at 29 I seem a little late to the party but you know what they say: better late than never?! Right?! Ok, ok so I've been a bit of a girly woman, woman child, lady girl... I'll work on the term but you know what I mean: the Peter Pan syndrome. I've been acting like a big baby for years, kicking and screaming: 'I don't want to grow up!' I know I've touched on this a bit already in previous blog posts, but it definitely bears repeating because this is a paramount moment in my short life on this Earth. In the past I've been a bit of a nihilist towards modern western society, myself and life in general. I was really just a big whiny baby who was afraid of her own shadow (Peter Pan reference again). There were some people in my life who didn't really want me to grow and change (and possibily move on from them), but the people who truly love and care about me really wanted me to grow up and I reacted (predictably) as any child would when they don't get their own way: with a temper-tantrum. So for those people who have stood by, pushed me and believed in me all throughout my temper-tantrum years: I'm sorry, thank you so much and I love you.
Ok, so bear with me, there is a point to all this. One of the main lessons of growing up is taking responsibility for myself and my situation/life. I really loved blaming those people in my life who I preceived as keeping me stuck and society in general and all other manner of extraterrestrial forces for my situation at any given time. I realize now that if there are things in my life that I'm dissatisfied with then it's absolutely my responsibility to do something about it. For example: I'm currently at a weight and body shape that I'm not satisfied with and I've been whining and complaining about it for years and blaming this, that and the other thing for my over-weightiness and looking for an easy way out,a magic pill or someway to be the weight I want to be without any hard work on my part. Well, I think I've finally (I know!) realized that all those things have done nothing to get me in shape. This weekend I told myself: if you are unhappy because you're fat then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Stop eating crap and stop being lazy. So Saturday morning I woke up: did some calisthenics, yoga and then I went for a run and it felt great! I make all sorts of excuses about time, money, energy, society, blah, blah, blah but really it all comes down to me and I'm sick of hearing myself whine and I'm sure everyone else is as well. So I downloaded Zombie Couch to 5k and I'm going to get into shape running from zombies and saving the human race from the 'zomb-scruge' (so aptly named...by me). I honestly can't wait, for the first time in my life I'm actually excited to workout and the best part is I have a couple workout buddies, which will help me stay accountable! :)
So in taking this all together a big part of my growing up and finally becoming an adult is learning to take responsibility for myself and my life as well as learning how to delay gratification. I guess a good way of describing it is that I've now become my own parent and my inner child is FINALLY out of her rebellious stage and we're getting along marvelously like an adult child & parent should. There are a lot of things that I really want RIGHT now but I finally realize that's it's worth the wait to delay until I'm ready. I can wait to be in my own place, I can wait for my dream vacation until my debt is paid of, I can handle the long-haul of doing a lot of hard work to get the body, career and life I want. I'm in this for the longterm, after all this is my longest and most crucial of relationships: the one with myself.
Ok so on a somewhat related note: I'm going to give you an update on my New Years resolutions that I wrote about in my last post. I wrote about saving money and paying off my debt and so far I've paid off 1 (out of 3) of my credit cards: which is an amazing feeling! Granted, it was my credit card with the smallest amount but these small victories are worth so much in terms of my mentailty towards paying off my debt. For the saving side of things: I've set up my bank account so that $50 comes out of my paycheck automatically every payday and into my TFSA (tax-free savings account), but that's not enough to reach my $2000 goal by the end of the year, so for my first February paycheck it will be uped to $100. I must admit that I haven't been doing the best with the working out and healthy eating thing for the last 2 weeks, but as I previously stated, I'm on the right foot now and going forward. I plan on doing the couch to 5k workout 3 times a week and then I'll add aerobics and swimming on my off days and yoga everyday. I'm also going to eat according to a diet plan inspired by Tim Ferris' '4-hour Body' in which I minimize eating the 'white devils' 6 days of the week and leave myself a cheat day once a week, where I can eat whatever I want. I've decided that Saturday will be my cheat day and I'll reserve that day for the once a week that I can eat out as well. I know myself and I know that a cheat day is very important to helping me stick to a somewhat restricted diet. My job is still going great: I'm still in training and kicking butt. I finally feel like I'm meeting some new Toronto peeps and I'm getting visits from old friends and I'm putting in time into my new relationships since I've decided to go back home less. I know it'll take time to really set up a life and a friend circle here but so far I'm on the right track. I've also accepted that I'm no longer in school so I don't have that kind of schedule: I'm ok with going to bed at 9/10 pm most nights because my sleep is very important to me. As you may or may not have noticed it has also been exactly 2 weeks since my last blog post so I'm on a roll with that so far. I've decided Sunday is going to be my blog day (for now, that may change once I start into shifts) and that this blog will take on a more fun & humourous feel from now on. Lastly, I've decided what my screenplay is going to be about! You know the one I plan on writing this year...? Don't tell me you forgot already, sheesh. Anyways I've written down some preliminary notes and I must admit it sounds promising so far. I have yet to research how to properly write a screenplay but I'm not worried, that's the not the hard part.
So I'm not perfect but I'm doing pretty great so far with my resolutions, especially considering I've never actually stuck to any previous new years resolutions, so go me! :) How are your resolutions coming along? Do you have any advice for sticking to them that could help me (or anyone)? Please share! Thanks for reading all the way to the end and as always have a wonderful and uncommonly wealthy day and life! :)
Lady girl! I laughed out loud. Love it.
ReplyDeleteBtw the way you're writing a screenplay!!! Cool why didn't you tell me! You'll have to let me in on what it's about! :)
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